Sweet Dream Soirée - The Long of It

For Miss Sugarpuss and Seska Lee, the proprietors of the Home for Wayward Girls, the Sweet Dream Soirée ended up being a night that was more nightmare than pleasant dreams.

It all began with the Ladies coming home after a long day of shopping. When Miss Lee pressed Miss Sugarpuss for the details of their financial situation she did all she could do to try to assuage her, but Miss Lee persisted. Suddenly, the Girls came running in screaming hysterically, as Miss Helga, the Cook and Cosmetology teacher, chased them around in a bloodied housedress, brandishing a large knife and sparkles. She had been trying to teach them some esoteric art form from her native Boobiskia, but found the Girls rejected her efforts. Frightened and despondent, they huddled around their mentors, wanting comfort, until Miss Helga, in a fit of rage, finally left the room.

Miss Sugarpuss decided it was best to lighten the mood by declaring it Random Day and asked that someone bring out the Random Wheel. Two Husky Girls brought it out with much fan faire and the Ladies spun it to find out which random inebriant would be consumed. It landed on Liquor and so Miss Lee decided it should be Schnapps time! Her Schnapps is very dear to her and she enjoyed it in her ritualistic way with Miss Sugarpuss and the Girls.

Afterwards, Miss Sugarpuss felt it was time to be a little responsible and told the Girls they should do some chores. All of the Girls except for poor Lola Lamb snuck out and so she was left to wistfully engage in some boa folding on her own. After she was finished Miss Sugarpuss and Seska Lee returned to find that the boas were absolutely everywhere and they were so impressed with her progress. As Miss Lee tidied them up she noticed a Hat Box and asked Miss Sugarpuss what was in it. She evaded her questions until finally sitting on the Hat Box and squashing it. She could no longer pretend it was not there so she claimed that the box was filled with fan letters from her many prolific fans. This was when Luci Furr came running in. She needed to confess that she had been keeping a secret from them, that she was not who had claimed herself to be. Luci Furr was in fact in league with the Devil and to the Ladies’ amazement exposed them to her devilish ways.

The Ladies were left stunned. At this moment the doorbell rang and the Postman entered. He had some mail to deliver. Miss Sugarpuss frantically took it and sent him on his way. Miss Lee, curious, asked to see the mail, but Miss Sugarpuss assured her that it was all fan mail for her with only one for Miss Lee. Excitedly, Miss Lee exclaimed that it was a fan letter of her very own and she called the Butler to bring her some more Schnapps and her ‘ back massager’ so she could read her letter in private. After she left Miss Sugarpuss grabbed the Butler and begged him to help her get rid of all the bills, which we discovered were hidden all over the Home. He refused and they tussled, leaving the envelopes to spill out everywhere. Devastated Miss Sugarpuss cried hysterically and fell to the floor.

The Girls heard her cries and came rushing in. Miss Sugarpuss regained her composure and asked them to help her pick up her ‘fan letters’. She declared that the Girl who picked up the most would win her Diva Moment of the Day. As the Girls wrestled over the envelopes, the two Husky Girls entered and began taking photos of the entanglement, finally getting pulled in by the others until Marianne Cheesecake was on top of them all and was declared the winner. She enthusiastically claimed her prize and had her Diva Moment of the Day.

Later Miss Lee returned to the room and picked up some envelopes from the floor. She was surprised by how many ‘fan letters’ Miss Sugarpuss had received from the Utility Company, the Telephone Company and the Bank. As she looked through these ‘fan letter’s the Husky Girls entered the room giggling over the photos they had taken. Miss Lee noticed them and a little troubled by their unfeminine appearance asked them to show her what they had learned in burlesque duo class. They hesitatingly obliged and Miss Lee was left in an even more troubled state. Thankfully, the other Girls returned and joined Miss Lee in the next activity of the evening – Conga Line.

A few moments later Miss Sugarpuss sauntered in drunk and depressed. She decided to tell them a bedtime story and then became very upset, yelping and crying about bills, before finally passing out. Miss Lee tucked her in and led the Girls away, promising to tell them about her vast collection of fan letters from Tycoons, Sheiks, and Dukes. When they were gone Miss Sugarpuss had a surreal dream about burlesque and bills, which in the end did not have happy ending. She woke up to find that all the bills were still there.

The Husky Girls came back in the room to clean up Miss Sugarpuss’ mess, discussing how fabulous it was at the Home and how no one was suspecting them of anything at all. Clearly they were impostors! Little did they know the other Girls had overheard them, but before the Girls could tell anyone about their discovery they saw that Miss Sugarpuss was gone. They were alarmed and cried out for Miss Lee to come quickly, which she did. After trying to soothe them she looked up to see Miss Sugarpuss attempting to sneak past them with her Hat Box stuffed with papers and envelopes. Miss Sugarpuss told them it was trash, but Miss Lee would hear nothing of it. Before Miss Sugarpuss could explain herself the Postman returned and quite diabolically brought them more mail – which of course was more bills for Miss Sugarpuss and even some for Miss Lee!

Miss Sugarpuss fell down in a fit and Miss Lee was shocked into a loss of words. After a slap to the face she spoke up and confessed that she too had been hiding bills. She opened up her dressing gown and they all fell upon Miss Sugarpuss’ quivering body. Miss Sugarpuss then realized that she no longer had to lie. She got up and embraced Miss Lee. They were so relieved but then they saw that even with their secrets out in the open they were still stuck in a predicament. They had no money – just all of these bills. Lola Lamb suggested they find some money on trees. Luci Furr said she could ask Mephistopheles for a loan. Marianne Cheesecake suggested they sell something. It was getting very complicated. Miss Sugarpuss and Miss Seska Lee asked aloud, ‘whatever shall we do?’